band concert tonite. i fucked it up. well the chair thing wasnt my fault. but march militaire sounded shitty and i think that was partially my fault. also, my mom never said good job or anything. i actually suspect that she just came and picked me up and didnt go inside. things at home r tense. and things at school suck. my speech impediment is frustrating to say the least. i wish it was another obstacle i could just pound to the ground and beat. but i cant. im not depressed right now, but im pretty down. i hope my depression isnt coming back. i was feeling my worst today, when my phone vibrated. it was my hyung, kenny, and he sent me a txt asking if i was alrite. i find that amazing as he had no way of knowing wat was going on with me. hes in san diego and i havent told anyone he talks to. i was at the point where i was about to give up and just dgaf the rest of junior yr and i wouldnt get a car in the summer but watevs. but that txt pushed me from that and im gonna try. even if i fail. and i probly will. but he would want me to give it my all. my best friend sent me a txt apologizing for being a shitty friend. if hes reading this, let me say this. you are an awesome friend mike. you have helped me through so much, from 4th grade till now. we might not hang as much and we might not see each other too often, but you are my best friend. i consider you, torin, jed, jon, wayne, and our little group as brothers, closer than my real family and if u need to talk, im all ears. dont hesitate. im gonna go eat now. peace guys.